


empty smile

by weavirtue



Category: Figure Skating RPF, virtuemoir
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Ice Skating, Lost Love, Married Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 13:51:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14106780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weavirtue/pseuds/weavirtue
Summary: inspired by sun on Sunday-it's not what I usually write, it's sad and there is another one coming so if it is not what you're into, then you can skip it.





	empty smile

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by sun on Sunday
> 
> \- 
> 
> it's not what I usually write, it's sad and there is another one coming so if it is not what you're into, then you can skip it.

  _a silent tear, an empty smile_

 

Laying there, you are watching through the window, counting the cloud passing by, trying to count the drop of water instead of letting yours slide down your cheek, because if you let yourself go there.. you know you would be incapable of getting up again and getting back on your feet, to fight, to live, survive more likely.  So instead, you look at the tears the sky is crying, to honour the man you lost. the man the world was still thought was you business partner, the other half of your platonic relationship. most beautiful non-couple they has said. You turn around on the bed, sliding on the left side, his side, the one closer to the door because he knew you were always afraid of being the first to be seen in a room while sleeping, he knew you hating everything related to the left side, he know how much you liked to lie on your side and be able to watch out of the window, and he most importantly knew you. 

How are you supposed to live your life without the only person that has always been there, the person you can’t remember living without. You keep thinking about it, and the only answer you have, is that you can’t. It makes you even sadder because you know, like you know the sun rise on east and set on west, that Scott would want you to get out there and find someone or at least try, but all you can think about is laying there, and breathe in the lingering scent of him, trying not to completely lose it. 

Your phone keeps flashing up with notifications, and you know deep down that you should respond, or at least look but you can’t. you aren’t strong enough to do that without him, the assurance his hand could offer whenever he would hold your hand, or embrace you. another tear falls down, when you realise than never again, your breathing and heartbeat will synchronise with him, with another human being. Teeth clashing together, eyes looking up, you try desperately to think of something else, to make this urge, the one to cry for the rest of your life, go away. 

You push yourself up in the bed, taking his phone, smile growing when you see the picture he chose for his lock screen and then the tears are coming back, because once again, you regret not taking more pictures with him. and you mean real pictures, because of course, you have the ones taking by photographers, but its not you, you regret not pulling him into the cradle of your arms and taking millions of silly pictures because at least now you would have some souvenirs. 

Your eyes fell on the only album your moms have made for your 20th anniversary. You got up, take it and fell on the window seat, the one he built for you when you moved into this apartment, because you had always wanted one, since you were old enough to know what it was, and he remembered and surprised you with it, when you came back from a business trip. You can still remember walking in the room with Scott sitting there, holding a single ring in between in fingers, ring that is now resting on your finger. 

He had promised you, promised that he would never leave you, promised that you would never have to live without him, but life took him, and now you have to learn how to do just that, live without him. How are you supposed to live when he’s not here, right next to you, holding your hand? How are you supposed to live when it feels like half of you is gone? 

twenty-eight years, seven months, twelve days, two hours, and some minutes in the making for nothing, because in the end, you ended up **alone**.

You lose the battle and the tears finally slid on your cheeks, curling in on yourself you let yourself grief and fell back on the bed, does wrecking your body. 

 

_Cause there'll be no sun on Sunday ⠀_

_⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀_

Looking up when you hear the door open and close, your heart summersault and then break when you realise that it is not Scott, that it is probably his mom or yours. You close yours eyes and let yourself fall back in the bed. trying to guess when you actually did sit up, without any luck. Taking a deep breathe, you brace yourself for the impact that seeing one of your moms will do to your fragile state. You try really hard, not to yell at them to go home, because as much as you are hurting, they are as well. You may have known Scott for most of your life, but so as your family and his. You feel someone taking your hands off of your face, pressing their lips against your forehead and that’s when you lose it, because the last person that has done that was Scott, and just like that, you fall into the arms of the person in front of you, not even caring who it is.

\- " **Kiddo, hey babe, shhh. It was just a bad dream."**

Snaking your arms around him, you squeeze him as hard as you can, pressing your face into his chest, breathing his scent and murmuring a mix of thank you and i love you. You finally let those tears flow freely, knowing he would always catch you.


End file.
